Introducing a new equation in Daniel Math:
Embarrassment = embarrassing moment (ranked on a scale of 1-10) divided by the number of years you've been married plus the number of chilluns you have.
Therefore:
E=EM/#YearsHitched + #ChillunsBurffed
so...let's say you have been married for 12 years and have 3 children then there is very little that could make you blush.
Picture It:
W and I, along with the three children...M and EJ in the stroller...B riding ahead of us on his bike, were taking our evening walk. As we strolled...
W: (sings) I wear my suuunnnglasses at night...do you know what that song means?
Me: No
W: Do you know the other words?
Me: Well...some...(sings...with much fervor while holding a pretend microphone arms splayed to the side head appropriately bobbing from side-to-side while continuing to walk) "Sheeee's deceivin' me....lah lah lah-lah lah lah lah...she's got control of me....I turn to her and saaaaayyyy...Don't masquerade with the guy in shades oh no"....(mimics 2 measure guitar solo)" That's all I know.
Just then an older couple in a black Lexus pulls along side us. My first thought was they were stopping to ask for directions. Then I noticed that the man driving was doubled over his steering wheel with guffaws of laughter. The woman in the passenger seat was laughing so hard that I couldn't understand what she said but I'm pretty sure that somewhere in there was "with moves like that...". As we carried on walking we saw the couple park at a house down the street. The woman got out of her car as we passed and mumbled something about how cute the kids were and how she enjoyed my dancing.
so...the old me (pre-children) would have been horrified. I would have found a gigantic piece of Texas limestone to crawl under. but now...singing and dancing in the street seems to be a perfectly normal part of my happy life...
and...in other news...
ej's had his 6 month well visit yesterday. 27 1/2 inches long, 20 pounds. we are concerned about a deformity...pectus excavatum. i had this condition and had to have it surgically corrected when i was 12. at this time the doctor believes it to be a mild case. we'll have to keep tabs on it but i was assured that the surgery (while still serious) is not nearly the ordeal it used to be as surgeons are able to laproscopically (how do you spell that word anyway?!) repair it. AND...the doctor said that ej was...and i quote..."very cute"...
and now...the summary...
1) what IS that song about anyway?
2) if someone owns a black lexus...why do they live in our neighborhood?
3) if the pediatrician says it...it must be so...
